What is trauma?

When we hear the word trauma, we often imagine a dramatic event: an accident, physical abuse, a war, a tsunami… and of course, these experiences can be traumatic but trauma is less about what happened to us, and more about what happens inside us when an experience is overwhelming and when our nervous system does not have enough resources, support, or safety to process it.

Dr. Gabor Maté explains that traumatic event and the trauma itself are not the same thing.

The event is what happened.

The trauma is the wound that remains.

Trauma can change the way we see ourselves and the world and leave us with subconscious beliefs like:

"I am not lovable."

"I cannot trust anyone."

"I have to be perfect to be accepted."

These are often adaptations that helped us survive difficult experiences but can become limiting and painful in the present.

One of the deepest effects of trauma is disconnection, because to protect ourselves from overwhelming emotions, we may disconnect from parts of ourselves: 

• our feelings

• our needs

• our boundaries

• and our ability to experience pleasure

  
  

We learn to survive, but sometimes we lose touch with what makes us feel alive.

This is why trauma can show up not only as anxiety, fear, or painful memories, but also as numbness, exhaustion, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or difficulty feeling safe in our own bodies.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk describes how overwhelming experiences leave traces in the body and nervous system and how it can affect:

• how we breathe

• how we hold tension

• how we respond to stress

• how easily we can relax and feel safe

  
  

The body remembers experiences even when our conscious mind has moved on and even when we do not have any conscious recollection of the event, like in case of early childhood trauma, anesthesia or loss of consciousness.

Dr. Peter Levine, the founder of Somatic Experiencing®, describes trauma as a disruption of the body's natural ability to return to balance after a threatening experience.

When we experience danger, our survival responses get activated. After the threat passes, our system should naturally return to the state of “relaxed alertness”.

But sometimes, after overwhelming experiences, the nervous system remains stuck in protection mode when survival responses are interrupted, overwhelmed, or combined with fear, shame, and beliefs formed around the experience, like “It was my fault”.

We may continue reacting as if the danger is still present, even if the event happened many years ago.

Healing is not about forgetting or pretending something never happened. It is also not about forcing ourselves to move on or think positively. If you’ve ever tried to do it, you have probably ended up in despair.

Instead, healing is about gently reconnecting with ourselves in the present moment.

In Somatic Experiencing, we learn to notice sensations, emotions, and impulses in the body without becoming overwhelmed by them so our system can complete the survival response by discovering, little by little:

"I can feel this, and I am still safe."

"I can be present with myself."

"I don't have to live only from old survival patterns. I have options.”

Trauma is not a sign that something is wrong with you.

It is a sign that your body and nervous system adapted to something difficult to ensure your survival. 

And if you can read this post today, it means that your body and your nervous system succeeded at their job.  

You are alive and from this place, healing is possible.

More about Somatic Experiencing here.

Want to read more?

“Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma” by Peter A. Levine

“The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” by Bessel van der Kolk

“The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture” by Gabor Maté

Photo by Resource Database on Unsplash